Sunday, August 14, 2011

Odd Man Out: stop worrying about being perfect

Odd Man Out: stop worrying about being perfect: "I have no idea how much other people think about this topic of everything must be perfect. To me, it seems to permeate every idea, every in..."

stop worrying about being perfect

I have no idea how much other people think about this topic of everything must be perfect. To me, it seems to permeate every idea, every interaction, every moment - it could be better, must be a perfect thought, a perfect conversation, a perfect presentation - we all use the words - I'm a type A personality, I must get an A, I must be recognized for my contributions, I must be known as a perfectionist, I have to show everyone how it should be done. My question is a simple WTF? Perfection is the art of the absurd - I'm so exhausted by the silliness of it all - what does it get any of us in the end - an attitude of superiority? a disdain for others? a reputation for exacting standards? A pillar from which to fall when our human failings reveal themselves? Give it up, revel in the imperfections where life exposes its natural wonders. I agree that certain actions and occasions call for exactness, a surgeon, an accountant, a builder, but perfection? Perfection only seems to be used in matters of more abstract ideas, not hard and fast factual events. You must give the perfect present, you must host the perfect party, be the perfect couple, be the perfect family - instead of being the messy host but who enjoys his friends and embraces the moment when his house isn't perfectly neat and tidy.

Some might argue I'm not driven enough to strive for perfection - a slackard - some might say I just don't have the ability to rise above the mediocrity. So be it, if that is the case, perfection will elude me like the pot o gold at the end of a rainbow. Expecting perfection and worrying about the subsequent failure is too draining. I appreciate the grace and beauty of the hair out of place, the last 10 pounds that just won't go away. The world has a place for all of us. As for me, I'm hanging my hat with the imperfectionists - those of us who choose to do better than our best but fall short of perfection. So, while everyone else is seeking the elusive holy grail for momentary and fleeting recognition, I'll be plugging along doing the best I can while grinning my imperfect smile in my imperfect life.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Betty Ford RIP

If people are following me, they are probably wondering what is my deal with Betty Ford - I would argue that she was one of the most transformative individuals of the 70s - she opened up about her mastectomy, she championed women's rights, she understood the inherent human flaws in all of us and shared her struggles and thoughts in public - regardless of the reaction. She understood the need for understanding and not judgement, compassion not hate, no partisan versus partisan, human versus programmed. She and President Ford brought a much needed reality to a nation faced with scandal and lies. I believe that her time in the White House and her many years after through her establishment of the Betty Ford Center, brought humanity to the forefront. She was a real woman with many real struggles, we don't see many people in public life conduct themselves as gracefully, forcefuly, and unabashedly, as she did. May she rest in peace with her husband. Thank you for sharing your gifts with a nation.

Friday, July 8, 2011

The America we live in

Talking heads, experts, analysts, elected officials - listen closely - the United States of America is not your play toy - it is not your personal soapbox nor a hostage to be taken to achieve your narrow goals. The world is changing faster than any government can keep up with and we, the global leader in so many fields, is falling behind. How, you could ask, could this happen? I reckon that we as a society, most directly, our elected officials, were too embroiled in the maintaining the status quo. No one, I would argue, since Richard Nixon was president, holding elected office, actually has shared the horrible truth, we are in decline as a nation. If we can't educate, if we can't inspire the next generation to strive to be better and more creative and more caring, then we have failed. If we can't tell the truth about manufacturing jobs never coming back in the numbers or at the pay level that generations of families enjoyed, and stop pandering that they are coming back, we have failed. We need to look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we have no one to blame for ourselves. We individually, at all levels, stopped caring about the collective, We, the people. We were up in arms when Hillary Clinton suggested that it takes a village to raise a child - but it does and it should. We have lost that sense of common humanity that we have a responsibility as an American citizen that those of us who are most successful have a responsibility, not a law, not a judgement, but a personal responsibility to help those less fortunate. Little ways, big ways, we don't need elected officials to tell us half truths and shadowy statements - we need to believe in the power of us versus the power of me. Everyone has to step back, evaluate his or her self-centered behavior, take the Me out of important decisions and ask how does this affect the We.

We as citizens deserve the government we have - however, America is an amazing country with resilience, intelligence, and a willingness to slough it through hard times. We have lost probably a generation of Americans to misdirected public policies, political posturing, and stagnant economic growth. We, the people, can and must do better. That is our challenge - this is our legacy. Be bold, be brave, and be an active part of this amazing experiment called America.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Memorial Day

I've read several articles this morning across the news spectrum - from Facebook postings to the NYTimes to the UK's Daily Mail - what struck me is our understanding, or lack thereof, of our past history and experiences, show a direct correlation to the air of malaise affecting the United States of America. On this day of remembrance, we honor our past and current soldiers in arms for their service on behalf of our country, its ideals, and its overwhelming success as a beacon of freedom and opportunity unmatched in modern history. But on the flipside, we conduct so much of our daily live tethered to dying ideas - politics, the education of our young, the workplace, the way we travel to and from it, the literal and emotional value of it - we all should take a moment today to not only salute those who have secured and continue to protect the US but we should also honor the American spirit - unyielding in exploring new opportunities and new ideas, sharing a collective vision of supporting our neighbors and those who need help unselfishly and without great fanfare, and remembering that we are ALL our brother's keepers. On this Memorial Day, remember our past but lift your gaze and be bold, creative, compassionate, and as our ancestors did, don't be afraid of change - embrace it wholeheartedly with passion and ambition. As with many holidays, we should not have one day of remembrance for those who serve on the front lines of battle throughout our history, we should be grateful every day. Those of us who have not served should take every opportunity to make our servicemen proud by taking this fractured, angry, scared populace and lift it above the partisanship, greed and divisiveness in today's world. Service can be honored by remembering that we, the people, need to create our more perfect union. We owe it to our servicemen and women who put themselves in harm's way on our behalf.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

little things

So I walk to the Brookland Metro stop - an eight minute trek morning and evening. Over the past six months I'd say, I pass an older woman on her way to work. She's very attractive but didn't wear makeup and kept her gaze down, averting my eyes. She seemed kindly - about two months ago, she and I crossed paths and she and I looked at each other and I said "good morning", she smiled a beautiful smile and said "good morning" back. Since that point, for whatever reasons in her life, I noticed that every time we encounter each other, she is wearing a little more makeup, usually a beautiful shade of lipstick, dressing with a bit more flair, and more confident in her composure.

Now I know that I am taking way too much credit for my morning friend's blossoming, I do think that there is a power in acknowledging others in simple ways. I believe there are times when we all need someone to recognize us with something as simple as a hello. I feel so good when we cross paths and we both smile at each other and say "good morning."

The biggest of change happens with the smallest of gestures.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

And I, I took the road less traveled by

"If you don't like where you are in life, there comes a point when you must give up the part of you that's keeping you back." -Dr. Sonya Friedman

Life is a journey, haven't we all been told that before. However, what no one says is that as you experience your own journey, you get to decide who is part of your journey - what they help carry, what special skills and experiences they bring with them, what you have to carry for them, and when their journey will eventually lead them down a different path. No two people - even sharing an ultimate goal - will ever travel the same path because the two experience every moment of every day with their own eyes, ears, heart, and soul. Every day we have the responsibility to follow our own paths because that is what we owe to whatever deity or evolutionary power brought each of us to today. If we do not live to our full potential, we are preventing the world from experiencing the profound power of uniqueness. No one is better than anyone else - we all experience the joys and sadnesses during our lifetime - nothing can save us from our eventual end - so I try to always remember that everyone is on their own unique journey - we meet many along the way who join in our merry band of travelers - learn from these fellow travelers the unique lessons they unknowingly share - our journey is the adventure, the experience, and the individuality of it. I try to remember that the ultimate destination for us all is the same - in the meantime, soar with your unique talents and share the humanity - the love, compassion, and interconnectedness - every day.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Day Two

So, Day Two has come and mostly gone - what to write, what to write.....shall it be the grand insights to life, love, or how to make a million dollars off of home foreclosures? I think if the television watching public took the time wasted on bad sitcoms and reality tv and actually lived life, we'd be even MORE depressed and OBESE.....we hide in plain sight, we lock ourselves away every night not wanting to come out till the morning's light. I ask, do we like ourselves? do we know if we like ourselves or not or are we blindly going along with routine, always doing the safe thing.

Every day do something brave, do something bold....make a promise to yourself to do one thing to make yourself laugh. I remember growing up a song that to this day I enjoy singing as I walk the pups - "Sing, sing a song, make it simple to last your whole life long, no matter that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear just sing, sing a song"

Tomorrow - sing your song

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I'm BAAACK

Has it truly been four months since my last post? Life has kept me busy so for the few, the proud, the crazy who read this - I'm going to do better! I saw a friend this weekend who writes a great blog -I sh ared that I was totally impressed that he posts daily updates - an aspiration of mine! So beware - I'm going to try and suck a few minutes of every day from you to share a little insight to the millions of bouncing neurons in my head!

So, let's start with a personal update - as the song goes, for every season turn, turn turn, there is a season turn, turn, turn....so I'm entering a new season - spring. The dark days of my emotional winter are turning to the inspirations and aspirations of spring. Like the bulbs lying dormant underground waiting to come out of hiding, so am I ready to poke out and feel the sunshine. Enough said - stay tuned.