Woo Wee time flies

Wow - I haven't posted in six weeks - bad, bad me! September is a busy month of events for my family - not that we spend any of them together given geographical barriers but on the 1st my parents celebrate their wedding anniversary - 59 years - well, back up into August and it was my grandmother's birthday - a book unto herself - miss her, - oh, and August was also my godmother's birthday - two books for her - she was awesome! So, moving forward - the 14th is my birthday, my cousin's birthday (he's my parents' godson as well) and my godparents' anniversary. We move to the 28th, my Dad's birthday - turned a hale and hearty 83, and Oct. 5 is my brother's birthday - 50! Yeesh - so needless to say, we keep Hallmark very, very busy this month.

What's the point of all that background? I find myself intrigued by the intersections that happen on dates - is it coincidence that my godparents' wedding anniversary is on the same day as my birthday? My godmother passed away on the anniversary of the day my parents' brought me home after adopting me - coincidence? My grandmother passed away on my mother's birthday - coincidence? I'm fascinated by the possibility that every event is part of a grand plan - that our beginnings and ends are woven together for eternity with those closest to us. Others would say, there are only so many days in the year so of course there's going to be overlap. I'm not so sure.

I'm reading Carl Sagan - fascinating man - he made astronomy and science popular by popping up on the Johnny Carson show on a somewhat regular basis - and in this series of speeches he gave in Great Britain, he discusses how special and unspecial our planet is - and how with a variance of .0001 percent in some instances our world would not have been able to support life. He discusses the vastness of space and the 14,000 million other galaxies that are out there which may or may not be like us. It's just fascinating to gain a better perspective on how small we are and yet how important we as a species think we are.

So what's the purpose of today's ramblings - the world and our lives are random, small, and in the grand scheme of the universe, quite mundane but to each of us and our interconnectedness - we thrive and celebrate each day for its unique possibilities.

Moments of clarity

It has been mentioned to me that I'm a bit bitter in my commentary - I prefer to say biting social criticism but you say tomahto, I say tomayto - :) So this past weekend, I went hiking in Lost River State Park - a beautiful day, neighbors down the street had come out for the weekend to the cabin, just the makings of a great day! We arrived at the beginning of the trail which was taking us to a ridge 3700 feet up a mountain and it was right by the horse stables which take people on riding tours of the park. There was a guide and two visitors mounted on their horses in front of us ready to begin their ascent. This one horse cantered by me and she had the most beautiful big blue eyes - and as she passed me, I felt her look right at me - her blue eyes locking with my blue eyes - I had a moment of clarity that we're all part of an amazing experience of life. There's so much magic, wonder, and awe around us if we allow ourselves the moment to see it. Most people would look at the horse and be done, I took a moment to appreciate the pure beauty and grace of her. We're all connected, be we animals, humans, trees, ants, and yes - even snakes. The magic is in understanding and appreciating the interdependency, the emotional fulfillment , and the happiness - pure happiness, that can be gained from making a moment to connect, truly connect, with the world right around you.

Bitter, nah, jaded perhaps, but always amazed and awed.

What we have become

I'm really angry and worried about what our nation is becoming. The recent frenzy of craziness regarding the 14th Amendment and the mosque in NYC has brought out the absolute worst examples of "leadership" and public citizenry that I can recall. Do we really as a nation believe that we are not a nation of immigrants and religious tolerance? Do we really believe that our Founding Fathers would have had such issues with a religious center? I cannot believe that elected officials and political pundits will use the Constitution and the Bill of Rights to their own benefits in whatever way it suits them. They will justify homophobia, control a woman's right to choose what to do with her own body, the sanctity of marriage, the right to bear assault arms to "hunt".....what won't they do?

If I remember correctly, the United States was founded as a new experiment ensuring life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness - that all men are created equal with certain inalienable rights - to its citizenry. That's what has made us strong and unique. But democracy is an experiment and 1,000 years from now, as we look back and study the empires of Rome and Greece today, will history books look as this small blip of 200 and some odd years of the United States with amazement at its rise and fall or as the spark that brought forth and spread the light of freedom of expression, religion, and the rights of the individual. I can say today that I am afraid of the answer.

Nature vs Nurture - not the argument you think

I read a review of a study to be published regarding personality traits being set as early as first grade. In this study which followed individuals from first grade to adulthood, it was discovered that however you were in first grade you basically are going to be like throughout life. It was funny to read that, just last week my mother was commenting to me about what a happy kid I was - and how I was still like that....I guess that study would work out well for me :) But what about others - how horrible if your mother were to say to you - you whined then and you're still whining...or you were such a drama queen and you still are (I have several friends whose mothers I'd like to check this fact out with!)

This then led to me to think how much easier life would be if we all had to wear signs or better yet, our driver's license had a little box indicating what are character traits were in first grade - teacher's pet? pant wetter? get over that chalk-eating problem? Better than Myers-Brigg, this would immediately share insight as to the possible friendship, dating material, or collegiality in the workplace for each of us. How much easier could it be than to go to a job interview and have someone ask, "so you didn't play well with your brother, how will that affect your group project work today?", or "tell me about your violent behavior toward Raggedy Ann?" Well, umm....I was in first grade, I didn't know better," ain't gonna cut the mustard anymore.

Consumer Vents At Target For Right-Wing Donation

If you can make it there

So dramatic - but I do believe the world changes faster than we can all comprehend, and it takes us regular humans some time to realize that the ground beneath our feet is quicksand....following my trip in the Sshhhhhh car, I attended a conference in NYC - well, let's back up to my feelings about the Big Apple - I LOVE IT! I was fortunate enough to have parents who took me to the city quite often during the course of my childhood. I saw amazing shows - Dreamgirls in its first week open with Barry Manilow and Lucille Ball (who I met at dinner earlier in the evening) sitting at the end of my row in the audience, Patti LuPone in Evita among others - it truly was where I wanted to be. Of course, when the time came to go to college, New York was the only city off the list, parents were afraid the arts had me in its clutches - which it did.....often wonder what restaurant or retail establishment I'd be working in had I persued that path....how different.....alas, that's not THIS post - :)

So I check in to the conference hotel, the Marriott Marquis, right on Times Square. Now, I have been very aware of the cleaning up of the area to make it more "family friendly" - well, they have succeeded in the Middle Americanizing of one of the most amazing spaces on the planet! If I have to see one more TGIFridays or M&M Store I think my head would explode! Why is it necessary to always remain in the bubble of which we live - what happened to the adventure in life - why wouldn't a family from Iowa or anywhere for that matter enjoy the experience of the local flavor?? What's the deal that we have to go to the same chain restaurants and stay in our comfort bubble? I had Sunday night free so I decided to wander out and grab a bite. I walked away from Times Square and the hoards of families in Mickey Mouse tshirts and flip flops and stumbled upon the Stage deli - I've been to two delis in NYC - the Stage and the Carnegie - both have sandwiches that defy gravity - they serve mouth watering corned beef, pastrami, and have the best pickles!! So, I popped into the Stage for a bite to eat. I sat at the bar and immediately was struck by a note of sadness - the sparkle, the energy, the "je ne sais quoi" - was not there. It was like a woman whose makeup from the night before is in need of some "refreshing"....I thought was it me or was it New York that had changed? The food was delicious - pickles like before but it was just tired. It was tired of upholding a NYC landmark that no one appreciates any longer - like the guest who stayed too long at the party and didn't realize the hosts had gone to bed.

I saw tourists approach the door and ask to see a menu, look at it, and then leave!?? How, how I say could you do that - just look at the plates in front of those who can appreciate the absolute heaven two slices of rye bread, with mounds of pastrami and cole slaw....I say it shouldn't be wasted on them! Let them go back to their chicken ceasar wrap and diet coke, their regular Monday night dinner out moved to Manhattan - I'll take the history, the deliciousness, and the familiarity of an old friend anytime.

NYC bound

So I'm on an Acela train to NYC - in the quiet car no less. What's up with that? Do we really need to designate a space where there is no noise? Even libraries have opened up to a bit of conversational din.....so it's fascinating to watch people in this cocoon of non-electronic verbal communication - where we can only be receptive and not necessarily interactive. Granted, about half of the seats in this car are empty - people still want distraction - there are crossword puzzles, powerpoint presentations, best sellers and self-help books evident. Could we expand this concept to other areas of our lives? Could we develop quiet offices, quiet restaurants, quiet airplanes? Think of the focus we could give to our own thoughts versus the throes of group decision-making.

Maybe this would be a good idea for Congress. Put them all in a quiet car and make them think about their legislative decisions and their effect. Would they begin to hear the common sense voices in their minds going - what the hell were we thinking? Or would any rational thought still be blocked from years of deterioration. Being alone with your thoughts and THINKING can be a valuable too. It lets that little voice in your head come forward and ask you questions you don't want to necessarily answer.

Silence feeds the imagination. I'm going to imagine for a while....

Experiential

Pondering how we learn - some of us learn by rote, some of us by example, and some of us by experience - is there any advantage to one over the other? Well, my bias is toward experiential learning - why, because it's the most personal of them. Let's plug an example in - let's use the notion of love - by rote, one would learn that love is an emotion expressed toward a person or object to which one is attached - by example, one could use the relationship in literature of Romeo and Juliet - by experience, one could refer to a parental, partner, or friend relationship. To have the full understanding of a concept, I believe one has to have the experience to its fullest. That means throwing oneself fully into the experience to learn the good, the bad, and the muddy middle.

I use love as the example because it is one side of the powerful emotional coin - the other side being hate, and I don't want to explore that just yet....To understand, comprehend, and appreciate the experience of love, one has to be willing to be vulnerable, to be seen by another person, to be rejected, to be judged, to be appreciated and cherished. It is only in the reflection of another with whom this vulnerability is allowed can this emotion be understood. Love is a many splendid thing but it is usually accompanied with jealousy, self-doubt, and preconceived notions. Yay!

Changing hearts

I went to a wedding last evening. The engagement wasn't announced in the paper, there was no wedding shower, no bachelor party. There were no engraved invitations, no cascading flowers or organist. But there was two people joining their lives together, two witnesses to this powerful moment, and a rabbi providing the blessing of the Almighty upon this couple's union.

The groom and groom had met 14 years earlier to the date and in their words to each other they shared what that day and every day since has been like. They spoke of highs and lows, moves across the country, and all of it together. They cried, the groom's daughter cried and I cried. It was more emotionally and spiritually powerful than I could have imagined. Listening to the rabbi give blessings that have been given over thousands of years of history brought it all together.

At dinner after the ceremony, we were discussing the tears - especially from one of the grooms who had previously shared that the ceremony was not going to change anything - and the rabbi said the tears came from the ability to share their love and commitment freely, openly, and with recognition from a higher power.

Mazel Tov

Nixon/Frost & 62 yrs together

Hubris and love - this morning I watched Nixon/Frost - the account of probably the most famous interview in the history of television. And I also read the nuptual announcement of two men who have spent almost 60 years together who were married in DC. I put these together because the both fall to the category of elected officials who feel that they have the power granted to them by elected office, to enact laws and to stretch them to their personal benefit. Richard Nixon, the most infamous politician, felt that by virtue of his office he could commit no wrongdoing - it was the president's prerogative - and yet, democracy is based on the premise that NO ONE is above the law -interesting interpretation on his part I must say. Having been a child when the Watergate hearings were broadcast, interrupting my Sesame Street viewing I might add, it is hard to comprehend how close the entire system of government came to collapse. Additionally, I find it fascinating that in hindsight, while everyone despised Gerald Ford for pardoning Nixon, everyone now agrees that had he not and an impeachment trial had taken place, the country would have been torn further apart. History has that fascinating viewpoint in that the further away the event, the more the nuanced and less black and white the event becomes.

Which now brings me to the wonderful couple who married this past week. Bob Davis, 89, and Henry Schalizki, 89, met in 1942 and have been together living a lovely life together here in Washington, DC. Hubris kept them apart - hubris that love between men or women would bring the world to a screeching halt. One may ask what is the thread between there stories? It is the documents that founded this great country - for President Nixon, it was his breaking his oath to defend the Constitution of the United States and in the case of Bob & Henry, it is the Declaration of Independence. We are all given the right equally under the Declaration the pursuit of happiness. Why do modern leaders not go back and understand that we are a country which respects and thrives on diversity and inclusion. We are not a homogeneous nation and never have been. We have been the beneficiary of the greatest pool of diversity and talent in modern history. Why do our leaders say no more than they say yes? How can they not understand that the country is now moving much faster than they are?

Again, down the road, history will provide greater insight to this battle for marriage rights. In the meantime, I can applaud a relationship between two men which has spanned the last half-century. L'amour, toujour l'amour.

Day off or Day of paranoia

How is it that when one is at work, one is constantly thinking, well maybe not constantly, but thinking of all the other things, usually fun, that one could be doing. However, once a day off occurs, you are constantly checking emails trying to be sure to stay on top of projects and such - make sure the shit doesn't hit the fan in your absence.

The amusing thing I find about this conundrum is that I know of few people - doctors, nurses, police, firemen, the military - who are saving lives on a regular basis. We're not solving world hunger or helping the refugees from Darfur - we're pushing paper, we're creating moments that will be forgotten as soon as they are over - terrifyingly simplified but the point is take the freaking day and don't look at emails or messages - if there's an emergency it can wait until tomorrow.

I just finished reading "Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man" about a NY book editor who is addicted to crystal meth and loses everything - editing job, boyfriend, family, friends - and at the end when he is out of the depths and well on his way to recovery he has a great quote - "Just when you think it's the end of the world, it isn't"

So, I for one, am not going to check my emails today - Monday will come soon enough. Life is too short to be wasted on worry.

Thoughts on a Cruise

So, I'm back from an eight-day cruise with my parents and nephew visiting Cozumel, Costa Rica, and Panama. We were sailing on the Carnival Freedom, a beautiful ship with a great crew. It is on occasions like this that I am reminded that there is an entire nation and world beyond the Washington Beltway. Upon boarding the ship in Ft. Lauderdale, I was reminded that the rest of the country finds it appropriate to wear a bikini when you obviously haven't looked in the mirror recently OR you have a funhouse in your bedroom. Middle America - you are HUGE! Stop with the buffets and the eating everything you can find. As many of you may be aware, food on a cruise ship is quite plentiful all day and night - one would think that it was the last food on earth given the plates that folks fill......and the ice cream machine needed extra electricity to keep up with demand. Who knew ice cream was the new breakfast food?

On top of the HUGE factor, this cruise must have had 300 children (late teens to babies) on board - and almost all of them were raised by wolves, and not the Twilight series Taylor Lautner type either......they were pushy, rude, loud, and EVERYWHERE!!!! The bars, the spa, the pools, the casino - and their parents could have cared less - vacation is now just where can we ditch the kids and they won't get lost - on a cruise ship!! what a brilliant idea - take the kids - they can run wild, as the parents - we can run wild, and everyone has a great time except for everyone else on the boat.....INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS, that's what I say.....you don't get to stop parenting in international waters!!!! GRRR!

Other than the monsters and the wide load families, the cruise was lovely. The crew was friendly, the entertainment outstanding, and the England vs US World Cup soccer match was awesome on the big screen on deck! I highly recommend a cruise - just be sure that school is in session!

BP disaster

What a cluster f**k! Don't corporations ever have contingency plans for disasters like this? I am incredulous that in this day and age that this oil plume cannot be plugged. We totally reap what we sow, we have abused this planet to the point where we deserve this disaster. Nature doesn't deserve it, those poor sea creatures don't deserve it. It is our inability to look beyond our immediate needs to a future world left for generations to follow. Drill baby drill is the stupidest most shallow comment any American can make. All we do with increased drilling is prolong the inevitable decline of our country. China gets this and is a leader in alternative energy, other countries get it and are building wind farms. What does America do? We drill deeper and deeper, in environmentally rich areas, wherever we can. Doesn't anyone understand with our dependency on oil we are beholden to others to satiate our appetite. We as a country must demand accountability from corporations, be they Lehman Brothers, AIG, or BP. Government must enforce its laws and not become a pawn for misguided corporate profits. When do we wake up to all this corruption and quest for higher and higher profits. I guess when we are out of oil. BP can teach us a valuable lesson - only if we are willing to learn it.

Wedding Gowns

What is it? What is my fascination with wedding gowns?? My newest guilty pleasure, Girl meet Gown, is totally voyeuristic and judgmental, and yet, I can't get enough....when the girl walks in with a stack of bridal magazines I break into a giddiness that can't be explained - I think to myself, she's too big to go strapless, too tiny to go ballgown...EEEK! It's Goldilocks and the three gowns! This one is too big, this one is too small....this one makes me cry...I got all gooey when a bride came out crying because she knew that this was the dress....and it was.

Watching this show provides insight into the rise of the modern "Bridezilla" - you can look at the bride and see if she is going to alienate all of her friends and family by the wedding day or if she'll be as sweet and happy as she is shown. And in their gown selection, they reveal more about themselves and their relationships with their friends and family - does her mother love her selection, is she supportive, jealous, wistful, ecstatic? Are the friends jealous, spiteful, cruel?

I love the show especially for the staff and owners of the bridal salon - they handle themselves with such grace and humor. They understand that they are working with women at their most vulnerable - getting married. They understand the bride who changes her mind, whose wedding isn't going to happen, and who wants/needs to lose weight to fit into the gown she has dreamed of since she was 10.

A big thank you to the brides on the show - I appreciate being a part of your special day. You all are beautiful -

Children

God love the little ones! We were all there once, try as we may to forget.....the Washington Post had an interesting article in the Sunday paper regarding the balance between people with children vs people without and the daily struggles businesses and individuals deal with the mostly unspoken conflict.

Being someone who has no children, just dogs, I feel the angst when arriving at a restaurant with small children nearby and they are running around or playing with their food. I don't blame the child, I blame the parents for allowing this behavior. I was raised by parents who believed that children didn't go out to public places, such as restaurants or church, until I could behave properly. If that meant my parents went to separate services to allow one of them to be at home, that is what they did. If it meant no restaurant dinners with me and my brother, they did it. I understand the want for parents to be out of the house and enjoying their lives with their friends, and inevitably their friends' children, but they tend to forget that everyone else is there to enjoy themselves too!

But I also see the side of the parent who needs to go out and doesn't want to give in to their life changing just because they have children. It's tough to eat at home with multiple small children and miss out on being served and not having to clean up the dishes. I get it - but I do think parents forget about the larger responsibility they have - to acknowledge when their little darlings are not prepared to be in public - be it they are a little sick, they are squirmy, prone to temper tantrums, and all the other behaviors that are disruptive to others in the room.

There must be an admission that life changes with children - not every option is as available to parents with little ones as easily as life before them. It's not a slight on parents, it's not a slight on non-parents, it is just life. Parents can choose to bring their children to restaurants but need to show the responsibilty to remove them if they begin disruptive behaviors. I've seen many a well-behaved child completely enamored with a book or crayons during an adult dinner and always make an effort to acknowledge the parents and their lovely child or children.

So, as every issue in life, it's a matter of personal responsibility.

Love is a many splendid thing?

That most tumultuous of human emotions, love has its highs and lows, its ups and downs, coupled with days of angst and nights of passion. So how do you keep the music playing? How do you maintain the individual in the duality? I don't know the answer. Is it worth the trouble - absolutely. I do believe however that love should come with a warning label - do not use with heavy machinery.

great women we/ve lost

We've had several prominent African American women pass recently. Dorothy Height and Lena Horne - two women who dedicated their lives in very different ways to the fight for equality in America. One stood tall with presidents, one stood tall on the stage and screen and both have left a legacy of integrity, authenticity, and sophistication. Ms Height had her hats, Ms Horne had her voice and beauty - we are richer as a nation for them both. May they rest in peace with the knowledge that they will be remembered as fighting the good fight and making a difference in the lives of so many.

Generational Rant

So I'm reading the NYT and come across a book review http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/09/weekinreview/09aoscott.html?pagewanted=1, and it talks about Gen X and its midlife crisis. It discusses the irony of a generation having a midlife crisis when it hasn't yet accomplished anything. I would agree - those of us in this group are stuck between the Baby Boomers who control everything - it's all about them and they won't let the rest of us forget about it. Get off the freakin stage already! If you're gonna bankrupt the nation with your neverending quest for youth and vitality - do it now and get it over with - don't draw it out - get those replacement knees and hips so that you can power walk into your golden geriatric years - like the Grinch, don't leave a crumb for the generation behind you - make them work for it they way you had to - though as children of the Greatest Generation, I would argue that they didn't work for it, it was given to them because their parents wanted a better life for their children - I'm not so sure the Baby Boomers wish that to their children or they would have acted more selflessly.

Is Gen X a bunch of whiners and dreamers lost in the what-ifs of our decisions - absolutely. But is it a frustration born in being the generation that no one will remember? or is it a reflection of the narcissism of our parents that they helped foster - only the history books will know. In the meantime, I'll keep counting the days for the Baby Boomers to give up their seats at the table and make room for the Gen Xers - like Prince Charles, we'll keep wishing you good health but will we be sad when you're gone?

Careers

what constitutes a career? used to be that entire lives were spent with one employer - a "company man" was the phrase of the 50s and early 60s - now, we are individual commodities eaking out the best offer for now and constantly looking for the next step. We don't or shouldn't believe that someone isn't angling for our job the moment our business cards are delivered. Everyone looks over their shoulder at the next bright star coming from behind. "You're only as good as your last mistake," tends to be a rule not the exception. So while we're constantly re-inventing ourselves are we truly in a state to give 150 percent to our current roles? or are we too busy looking down the hall at the corner office? Is a career the document that shows are employment trail or is it a set of ideals we maintained throughout our professional jobs? Do I have a career in communications or do I have a career in trying to be a good friend, a trusted co-worker, and ethical behavior? Just some random synapses -

Love in literature

Over the last month I have read the Vampire series by Stephanie Meyer. I never expected to read them, I especially didn't anticipate being drawn into a plotline and characters as fully as I have been. While the plot is over the top - werewolves and vampires all in one small sleepy town, what I did find were amazing complicated relationships - Bella and Edward, Bella and Jacob, Carlisle and Esme, etc. The overarching theme about relationships that I am seeing is that they are complicated, each person brings their own special skills to them, patience and understanding is necessary, someone is always going to be disappointed and you can hurt the ones you love. Pretty heady stuff for tweenage girls to relate to. The vampires are cursed with beauty and eternal life and yet still gather as families - the werewolves do the same with their impressions of one true soulmate. The books also show the importance of belonging and how everyone belongs somewhere - everyone has a home regardless of how unique or freakish one may feel.

Impressions

On the metro this morning and suddenly found myself thinking about all the different interpretations of the word "impression." We use it to describe a physical mark that is left behind, a mental note of a person and their presence or words, a period of artistic works, and in today's technologically savvy world for website (new AP spelling - one word, no cap - sorry Brandon) promotions.

How is it that a word so rich in visualization and emotional content- we all can imagine a situation or person or words that made an "impression" on us - be denigrated to describe a sidebar advertisement for a website. Just an observation on the adaptability and downgrading of the English language. I guess they couldn't use "browse"....

Dogs and Guns

Two morning thoughts - dogs and guns.....and what would this be all about? I was walking the girls this morning and as on most of our walks, they were sniffing around and taking all the sights and scents in. I was reminded that dogs live for the moment - not the one that past, not the one two minutes from now - but for the right this second immediacy. They don't worry about what awaits them at the office nor do they fret about office politics or what projects are late. I would say there are some advantages.....

Now for guns, big gun rights rallies happening this day in DC and VA - Patriots' Day, marking the beginning of the Revolutionary War. I don't like guns - never have, never will. I believe that the Second Amendment and the right to bear arms is an unfortunate holdover from times gone by. I believe the gun lobby is far too powerful and that guns of all types - handguns, AK-47s, etc - are far too easy to obtain. I don't believe that anyone's personal safety would be compromised if guns were removed from households. Registered guns for hunting purposes I don't have an issue with but one doesn't need machine guns to kill a defenseless animal.

I grew up in a small town in CT, no street lights, no sidewalks, lots of woods - and yes, we had hunters during deer season - not my thing. So what's the connection between my dogs and the gun rallies - dogs live in this moment without regard to what's next while gun advocates in enumerating their reasons for needing a gun live in a future of "what ifs." Do people on a daily basis truly encounter terrorizing incidents or are they projecting their insecurities of living in the moment onto an inanimate object? always wondering where the house robber or bank heist will happen. A gun doesn't make you secure. You make yourself secure. Just like the dog walking down the street senses what's happening, we humans have the same ability. Maybe we should have a rally for self-security without a deadly weapon......I don't think many would attend. I'd bring my over-friendly dogs.

Just what the world needs, someone else with an opinion! Let's start by agreeing that what I write is from my perspective and my inappropriate sense of humor. I look forward to sharing my random thoughts (is it possible to have ADD when writing?) and creating a space where

odd and random is celebrated and encouraged