If you can make it there

So dramatic - but I do believe the world changes faster than we can all comprehend, and it takes us regular humans some time to realize that the ground beneath our feet is quicksand....following my trip in the Sshhhhhh car, I attended a conference in NYC - well, let's back up to my feelings about the Big Apple - I LOVE IT! I was fortunate enough to have parents who took me to the city quite often during the course of my childhood. I saw amazing shows - Dreamgirls in its first week open with Barry Manilow and Lucille Ball (who I met at dinner earlier in the evening) sitting at the end of my row in the audience, Patti LuPone in Evita among others - it truly was where I wanted to be. Of course, when the time came to go to college, New York was the only city off the list, parents were afraid the arts had me in its clutches - which it did.....often wonder what restaurant or retail establishment I'd be working in had I persued that path....how different.....alas, that's not THIS post - :)

So I check in to the conference hotel, the Marriott Marquis, right on Times Square. Now, I have been very aware of the cleaning up of the area to make it more "family friendly" - well, they have succeeded in the Middle Americanizing of one of the most amazing spaces on the planet! If I have to see one more TGIFridays or M&M Store I think my head would explode! Why is it necessary to always remain in the bubble of which we live - what happened to the adventure in life - why wouldn't a family from Iowa or anywhere for that matter enjoy the experience of the local flavor?? What's the deal that we have to go to the same chain restaurants and stay in our comfort bubble? I had Sunday night free so I decided to wander out and grab a bite. I walked away from Times Square and the hoards of families in Mickey Mouse tshirts and flip flops and stumbled upon the Stage deli - I've been to two delis in NYC - the Stage and the Carnegie - both have sandwiches that defy gravity - they serve mouth watering corned beef, pastrami, and have the best pickles!! So, I popped into the Stage for a bite to eat. I sat at the bar and immediately was struck by a note of sadness - the sparkle, the energy, the "je ne sais quoi" - was not there. It was like a woman whose makeup from the night before is in need of some "refreshing"....I thought was it me or was it New York that had changed? The food was delicious - pickles like before but it was just tired. It was tired of upholding a NYC landmark that no one appreciates any longer - like the guest who stayed too long at the party and didn't realize the hosts had gone to bed.

I saw tourists approach the door and ask to see a menu, look at it, and then leave!?? How, how I say could you do that - just look at the plates in front of those who can appreciate the absolute heaven two slices of rye bread, with mounds of pastrami and cole slaw....I say it shouldn't be wasted on them! Let them go back to their chicken ceasar wrap and diet coke, their regular Monday night dinner out moved to Manhattan - I'll take the history, the deliciousness, and the familiarity of an old friend anytime.

NYC bound

So I'm on an Acela train to NYC - in the quiet car no less. What's up with that? Do we really need to designate a space where there is no noise? Even libraries have opened up to a bit of conversational din.....so it's fascinating to watch people in this cocoon of non-electronic verbal communication - where we can only be receptive and not necessarily interactive. Granted, about half of the seats in this car are empty - people still want distraction - there are crossword puzzles, powerpoint presentations, best sellers and self-help books evident. Could we expand this concept to other areas of our lives? Could we develop quiet offices, quiet restaurants, quiet airplanes? Think of the focus we could give to our own thoughts versus the throes of group decision-making.

Maybe this would be a good idea for Congress. Put them all in a quiet car and make them think about their legislative decisions and their effect. Would they begin to hear the common sense voices in their minds going - what the hell were we thinking? Or would any rational thought still be blocked from years of deterioration. Being alone with your thoughts and THINKING can be a valuable too. It lets that little voice in your head come forward and ask you questions you don't want to necessarily answer.

Silence feeds the imagination. I'm going to imagine for a while....

Experiential

Pondering how we learn - some of us learn by rote, some of us by example, and some of us by experience - is there any advantage to one over the other? Well, my bias is toward experiential learning - why, because it's the most personal of them. Let's plug an example in - let's use the notion of love - by rote, one would learn that love is an emotion expressed toward a person or object to which one is attached - by example, one could use the relationship in literature of Romeo and Juliet - by experience, one could refer to a parental, partner, or friend relationship. To have the full understanding of a concept, I believe one has to have the experience to its fullest. That means throwing oneself fully into the experience to learn the good, the bad, and the muddy middle.

I use love as the example because it is one side of the powerful emotional coin - the other side being hate, and I don't want to explore that just yet....To understand, comprehend, and appreciate the experience of love, one has to be willing to be vulnerable, to be seen by another person, to be rejected, to be judged, to be appreciated and cherished. It is only in the reflection of another with whom this vulnerability is allowed can this emotion be understood. Love is a many splendid thing but it is usually accompanied with jealousy, self-doubt, and preconceived notions. Yay!

Changing hearts

I went to a wedding last evening. The engagement wasn't announced in the paper, there was no wedding shower, no bachelor party. There were no engraved invitations, no cascading flowers or organist. But there was two people joining their lives together, two witnesses to this powerful moment, and a rabbi providing the blessing of the Almighty upon this couple's union.

The groom and groom had met 14 years earlier to the date and in their words to each other they shared what that day and every day since has been like. They spoke of highs and lows, moves across the country, and all of it together. They cried, the groom's daughter cried and I cried. It was more emotionally and spiritually powerful than I could have imagined. Listening to the rabbi give blessings that have been given over thousands of years of history brought it all together.

At dinner after the ceremony, we were discussing the tears - especially from one of the grooms who had previously shared that the ceremony was not going to change anything - and the rabbi said the tears came from the ability to share their love and commitment freely, openly, and with recognition from a higher power.

Mazel Tov

Nixon/Frost & 62 yrs together

Hubris and love - this morning I watched Nixon/Frost - the account of probably the most famous interview in the history of television. And I also read the nuptual announcement of two men who have spent almost 60 years together who were married in DC. I put these together because the both fall to the category of elected officials who feel that they have the power granted to them by elected office, to enact laws and to stretch them to their personal benefit. Richard Nixon, the most infamous politician, felt that by virtue of his office he could commit no wrongdoing - it was the president's prerogative - and yet, democracy is based on the premise that NO ONE is above the law -interesting interpretation on his part I must say. Having been a child when the Watergate hearings were broadcast, interrupting my Sesame Street viewing I might add, it is hard to comprehend how close the entire system of government came to collapse. Additionally, I find it fascinating that in hindsight, while everyone despised Gerald Ford for pardoning Nixon, everyone now agrees that had he not and an impeachment trial had taken place, the country would have been torn further apart. History has that fascinating viewpoint in that the further away the event, the more the nuanced and less black and white the event becomes.

Which now brings me to the wonderful couple who married this past week. Bob Davis, 89, and Henry Schalizki, 89, met in 1942 and have been together living a lovely life together here in Washington, DC. Hubris kept them apart - hubris that love between men or women would bring the world to a screeching halt. One may ask what is the thread between there stories? It is the documents that founded this great country - for President Nixon, it was his breaking his oath to defend the Constitution of the United States and in the case of Bob & Henry, it is the Declaration of Independence. We are all given the right equally under the Declaration the pursuit of happiness. Why do modern leaders not go back and understand that we are a country which respects and thrives on diversity and inclusion. We are not a homogeneous nation and never have been. We have been the beneficiary of the greatest pool of diversity and talent in modern history. Why do our leaders say no more than they say yes? How can they not understand that the country is now moving much faster than they are?

Again, down the road, history will provide greater insight to this battle for marriage rights. In the meantime, I can applaud a relationship between two men which has spanned the last half-century. L'amour, toujour l'amour.

Day off or Day of paranoia

How is it that when one is at work, one is constantly thinking, well maybe not constantly, but thinking of all the other things, usually fun, that one could be doing. However, once a day off occurs, you are constantly checking emails trying to be sure to stay on top of projects and such - make sure the shit doesn't hit the fan in your absence.

The amusing thing I find about this conundrum is that I know of few people - doctors, nurses, police, firemen, the military - who are saving lives on a regular basis. We're not solving world hunger or helping the refugees from Darfur - we're pushing paper, we're creating moments that will be forgotten as soon as they are over - terrifyingly simplified but the point is take the freaking day and don't look at emails or messages - if there's an emergency it can wait until tomorrow.

I just finished reading "Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man" about a NY book editor who is addicted to crystal meth and loses everything - editing job, boyfriend, family, friends - and at the end when he is out of the depths and well on his way to recovery he has a great quote - "Just when you think it's the end of the world, it isn't"

So, I for one, am not going to check my emails today - Monday will come soon enough. Life is too short to be wasted on worry.

Thoughts on a Cruise

So, I'm back from an eight-day cruise with my parents and nephew visiting Cozumel, Costa Rica, and Panama. We were sailing on the Carnival Freedom, a beautiful ship with a great crew. It is on occasions like this that I am reminded that there is an entire nation and world beyond the Washington Beltway. Upon boarding the ship in Ft. Lauderdale, I was reminded that the rest of the country finds it appropriate to wear a bikini when you obviously haven't looked in the mirror recently OR you have a funhouse in your bedroom. Middle America - you are HUGE! Stop with the buffets and the eating everything you can find. As many of you may be aware, food on a cruise ship is quite plentiful all day and night - one would think that it was the last food on earth given the plates that folks fill......and the ice cream machine needed extra electricity to keep up with demand. Who knew ice cream was the new breakfast food?

On top of the HUGE factor, this cruise must have had 300 children (late teens to babies) on board - and almost all of them were raised by wolves, and not the Twilight series Taylor Lautner type either......they were pushy, rude, loud, and EVERYWHERE!!!! The bars, the spa, the pools, the casino - and their parents could have cared less - vacation is now just where can we ditch the kids and they won't get lost - on a cruise ship!! what a brilliant idea - take the kids - they can run wild, as the parents - we can run wild, and everyone has a great time except for everyone else on the boat.....INCONSIDERATE BASTARDS, that's what I say.....you don't get to stop parenting in international waters!!!! GRRR!

Other than the monsters and the wide load families, the cruise was lovely. The crew was friendly, the entertainment outstanding, and the England vs US World Cup soccer match was awesome on the big screen on deck! I highly recommend a cruise - just be sure that school is in session!